being part of something

I will be starting a new position at work, in a couple weeks. I'm REALLY happy about it. I've had a lot of jobs in the last 40+ years. I can't think of a single one that I hated or disliked intensely. But I can honestly say that I've never been happier to leave a job than I am about leaving this one. There are several things that come into play that I don't like about my current position, but one of them is not belonging. I'm not part of the team. I don't contribute and I don't feel like I have any value. Doesn't that speak volumes about the leadership? Hmmmm. But I digress...

Typically, I'm not a joiner. I've never been a member of a "club" per say. You know, one where you have to get together with other members and do stuff as a group. Eww. A few years ago, I joined the national quilling guild. Only because I read that you should do that if you think that someday you might become serious about your particular craft/hobby. They also have their own, members only, Facebook page, which I follow as well. Every year they have an annual conference. They've even had one in my home state. But I didn't go. A LOT of members do go. But I don't want to meet a bunch of people that I'm not going to be friends with. I don't want to share my stories with strangers. Not my thing. Is that weird? It must be part of being an introvert. I don't want to be completely lame though, so I actually do post pictures and answer questions on their FB page. Now, a couple of the members have sent me friend requests on FB. I deleted them. I don't want to be rude but, I don't know you people, we aren't friends, we aren't going to be friends and my personal life is none of your business. It makes me feel like such an ogre!!! I've even learned several things about quilling, because of the guild and the FB page. Really cool things too! But I don't want to be part of them.

I guess I'm conflicted. I want to be part of something but I don't want you to bother me.

sigh