Crying

Why do you cry? Not the reasons. But physically, why does your body cry? And what makes your body do that?! Haven't you ever wondered?

I looked it up;

"Crying signals to yourself and other people that there's some important problem that is at least temporarily beyond your ability to cope."

"Research suggests that when you cry, your body releases endorphins and oxytocin. These natural chemical messengers help relieve emotional distress along with physical pain."

"When you feel an intense emotion - say, hurt during a breakup or joy during a wedding - you get worked up. Your heart rate may go up. Your breathing changes. And that response comes from the sympathetic nervous system - think fight or flight. Basically, your body is getting riled up. But when you cry, your body actually starts to relax, Your heart rate slows down. And the opposite system, the parasympathetic nervous system, is getting involved, which suggests that tears are something that actually may allow our nervous system to mellow out and recalibrate."

Did you know that tears are different, depending on what causes them? 

"There are 'basal' tears. Those are just the in general tears that keep your eyes moist all day. Then there are 'reflex' tears. Those are the tears that wash away harmful irritants like smoke or particles. They contain substances, such as antibodies, to help fight germs. Last, there are 'emotional' tears. They contain additional proteins and hormones you won't find in other tears, such as prolactin, potassium, manganese and stress hormones. Your body doesn't make these tears automatically. It is thought that emotional tears themselves have an evolutionary purpose: They're a way to get empathy. Research has found that people who get social support when they shed tears report that they feel better than those who hold back their waterworks, or who don't have any support."

That was interesting!

I'm so soft...

...when it comes to animals. Ugh. I can't even watch the dodo stories anymore! I know they always have a happy ending but the pain to get there is just too much for me. 

We, my fella and I, have become bird lovers! I don't even know how many different kinds of birds we get at our feeders. A couple dozen for sure. (side note; Blue Jays are actually brown! We perceive then as blue because of a phenomenon called light scattering) But, I don't love it when the raccoons invade the feeders at night! And I don't love it when the squirrels climb in there either! Sometimes though, I'll let them. Especially if a particular squirrel just keeps coming back after I've scared it off 3 or 4 times! Then I feel like, oh, it must be really hungry! See? I'm soft. It gets worse! 

About a month ago, I was looking out the front window and I saw this little pitiful squirrel. I have one little feeder in the front yard and it was looking for anything yummy that the birds have thrown out. It had really been beat up! Half her tail is gone and her little right foot is all mangled up! She was limping and just kept laying around in the yard. I felt so bad for her. So I left her a little pile of sunflower seeds and peanuts. She likes the sunflower seeds the best 😊😊 Well, it's been a month now and she's still around! Not limping so much, but probably struggling. So we leave her little piles of sunflower seeds every time we notice her out there. I know, I know. It's nature and I shouldn't make her dependant on us for food. I don't care. She's just not going to last that long so what the hell. I'm gonna feed her!

See her little toe, just hanging there? Ouch! She can't use that foot much but she can walk on it now. It's been long enough now that when we see her and take some seeds out, she doesn't run away anymore. Now she waits to see what we're going to do. 

Things I didn't use to hate!

Leaving the house. This could be bad news after I retire! But, when you're young, you never want to be home!

Driving. Except that I love road trips! I just mean when you're younger you'll drive anywhere, at any time! Now I want to incorporate my errands so I only have to go out once.

Alcohol! Oh I still like it, and I'm working on becoming a whiskey drinker, but now it's just for taste, not the buzz...or the hangover.

Shopping. I hate shopping. Unless I can get it online, shopping is just such a chore. And it requires leaving the house AND driving. humph!

Starting anything after 9:00pm. Or anything that requires me to stay out past 9:00pm!

Lack of sleep. 20/30 years ago this was not a big deal. Now? Forget about it! I need naps 😄

Sitting on the floor. Hell, I used to do all my drawing and painting and coloring, laying on the floor! Ha!

Waiting in line. Once, at the grocery store, I got so ticked off that I just left. Walked away from my cart and everything! 

Heat and humidity! I want to go to the State Fair every year but if it's over 80 and humid, I can totally skip it! I would so much rather be cold/cool.

Work. hahahahahahahahaha. 

Uncomfortable cute shoes. Yeah, sandals, flats and tennies for me, all the way. Slippers are even better! 

Television. Now that we don't have cable and have to stream everything we watch, I don't care what's on. Isn't that funny? Our TV used to be on allll the time. Even just for background noise. Now, I'd just as soon have some music channel on or the World Live on YouTube. I know that partly I am not a relevant viewer, but even when I was, there wasn't a lot on TV that I had to see.

ink joy

Somebody stop me!

I can not stop buying pens. All kinds of pens! Glitter pens, colored gel pens, metallic pens, pens that write like chrome, erasable pens!, pens that write on dark colors, silver pens that have a colored border, gold pens, more gel pens, pens that write with mixed colors, dual tipped pens, paint pens, pens that have two tips, pens made for making dots, neon pens, water color pens, calligraphy pens! It's ridiculous. I feel like it might be an addiction! 

These are even called, INK JOY!!!

But watch out! If you use these and set something hot on the paper, all the ink disappears!

whoosh!

How can it possibly be July 6th already? Holy crap! I guess I didn't pay much attention to May. 

Where did May go? Hmmm. Oh! Mother's Day was in May 💗💕 Mine is really great!! We painted, at home. Drank a lot of wine, snacked some and had fried chicken from Holly Hock Hill for dinner. It was a good day.

I cleaned up my craft room!! Hey, don't laugh. It was a big job. I moved most of my books to the sunroom because I needed more craft space. Go figure. It's a beautiful room. Every time I go in there I think, this is my dream come true. 😀📍📏📒📌🔎🔪🔮✏✂💯 I know it seems like a lot, but I've been collecting hobby/craft things for decades. And it's going to serve me well in retirement!

Also, we watched a lot of movies. Most of them weren't noteworthy. But I did think that "Gone Girl" w/Ben Affleck was delicious!! It made me wish I had read the book. And speaking of books, I read one by that wildly popular author, Colleen Hoover. I mean really, she has a ton of books out there! This one was called, Verity. I thought it was pretty average. I'm not a big fan of romance novels though. It was an easy read though. 

May seems kind of blurry otherwise. sigh

Music and smiles

Last week, a friend of mine and I went to see Ain't Too Proud, the life of The Temptations. I love all that old Motown music. It did not disappoint. Plus, she had a great time too. Double thumbs up. This was the last show of the season. My favorite play-mate and I have season tickets for the next Broadway season. It includes; Frozen, Mama Mia, To Kill a Mockingbird, Hadestown and Tina Turner.

Have you heard the song, Till You Can't, by Cody Johnson? I'm not kidding when I say, it's the BEST cheesy song EVER!! I love it!! How about the Hardy song, Wait In The Truck? I always feel bad that I really like this song. Oh!! And the song, A Rock. It's clever. Sometimes when I'm listening to my playlist on Amazon music, I'm surprised when some of the songs pop up. Like, Crazy or Crazy Train or Dream a Little Dream or Paint It Black or Me And Mrs Jones or Uptown Funk. And I picked them all! 

The other day we were watching some show about John Williams, the composer. You know, he wrote the music to Jaws, Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Lincoln, Harry Potter. Music really does make a movie sometimes. I really think about that sometimes when we're watching a movie. I really, really, really love books but I would miss music more if I didn't have it. Think about that song from your teens that always makes you smile when you hear it. Or, "your song" with your significant other. Music that makes you feel like summer. Or music that's soothing. Recently we've been listening to a lot of classical guitar. It can play all day long and I don't get tired of it. It's true, that music is healing.

fun stuff

This morning, the DJ on the oldies station I was listening to said, Paul McCartney was going to be 81 years old this month. Then he said, "where does all the time come from?!"  I loved that! Pretty great way to say it 😊

All the rest of this post is filled with the things that have made me laugh the last week or so.

I showed this picture to my fella and said, this is the thinnest and most fit I was in my whole life. (37 years ago) And he said, "god really blessed you" and I said, Uh huh. Then what happened?! and he said, "then YOU took over." Normally, that would have really pissed me off, but I laughed like crazy!!! Omg that was so funny!

This is one of my favorite young pictures of us. It was at my brothers wedding in Las Vegas, 1989.

Look at this cool horse I did!!! It's not really my design though. A woman asked me if I could make this, she sent me a picture, and I said yes. It's a little different than the original but she loved it. It was fun to do something so different.

A coworker bought this for me. I feel both ways about it. It's funny as hell but on the other hand, is it ok that people think I feel that way?!

On our front porch, a tiny little House Wren couple is building their nest in the little home we provided. We're loving their song all day and watching them stuffing stems and twigs in there.

THIS is hilarious!!!!

I love it when school is out and traffic is so much lighter but this is sooooo true about summer!

I feel this could be accurate!

 

This ad cracked me up because, well, honestly, I didn't know he was still alive. What is he, 90? Good grief dude. Just stay home! hahahahahahaha

And lastly, panda videos. I'm not kidding! Those chunky rascals crack me up! They're intentionally playful and it's the funniest thing to watch when you need a smile :-)

Disney

I love Disney animated movies. Especially the old ones, where every cell was hand painted; like Bambi and Snow White. I also like some of the newest ones, like Frozen, Encanto and Moana.

I love the streaming channel, Disney +. One, because they have all the Marvel movies! 😃 They also have some great channels, like Nat Geo

I'm not really a fan of Disney amusement parks though. I think Walt is turning over in his grave, at the cash cow they've become. For instance, if I just want to go to Disneyland for the day, depending on the date, it could be $179!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Disney World tops out at $159 a day. But if you go in August, on a Tuesday, it would only cost you $109. I think that's so ridiculous!

They say that business isn't that great for the Disney brand these days. So they fired their CEO and got Bob Iger to come back. I don't think the previous ceo understood that Disney wasn't broken, he didn't need to fix it. They shouldn't be involved in politics or trying to be "woke." Disney is supposed to be about kids and making kids smile. No agenda. 

Aaaaand this whole thing with DeSantis and Florida is so stupid. Again, stay out of politics. And if you don't like his policies, hey, you're going to outlast him for sure, just chill out.

As for the movies? Just tell good stories. Stories for kids, not their parents. Geesh.

life, death, love and grief

I know how fortunate I am, that until recently, I've never lost someone I truly loved.  

A couple of weeks ago, my brother passed away. We knew it was coming, but I guess we weren't expecting it to happen so soon? Anyway...I told my fella, "I don't know how this is going to go for me, so I'm sorry in advance if I'm mean to you." He's been pretty wonderful.

I got the news from my sister-in-law about 11:30 at night. In those first couple of hours, I just didn't know what to do with myself! I was so fidgety. I was angry. I was sad. I paced. I cried and cried. 

In the days that followed, I felt all the things.

Physically, sometimes I couldn't catch my breath. Sometimes I felt a physical pain, like a weight on my chest. I'm tired. Sometimes I’m nauseous  

Emotionally, I'm angry that he didn't take better care of himself. I'm angry that he didn't do what the doctors told him to do. He just did whatever he wanted. While that might have been a good way to live in his mind, it sucked for all the people around him, that loved him. Then I think about the things I wish I would have said to him, the last time I saw him. Then, I'm incredibly sad for my mom. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose a child. I'm incredibly sad for my brother's children. They've lost both their parents now. Who is going to love them unconditionally? Who has their back? Then I wonder...I wonder if you know that you're dead. Does something happen in your brain that tells you that? I wonder if he was scared. Did he have regrets? That hurts me, for him, to think that. Then I think, I don't have anybody to say to, 'remember that Christmas when...or remember when we told mom _____ and really did ______?' He use to say frequently, "you know we aren't normal, right?"...because we were so close. He said he didn't know anyone that got along with their sibling(s) like we did. 

I'm still feeling all the things. I cry in my head a lot. Weird. For 30 years, we had a running joke going about cows. I saw this funny little cow thing at Hobby Lobby the other day...I cried in my head.

Mostly now it just feels weird. I wish I could think of a better word or way to say it. But it's just so WEIRD. How can this be? That he's not here anymore? How is that possible? Weird. I guess that's "denial."

Before his health started to fail him, he was one of nicest people I've ever known. Genuinely nice. He thought everyone was interesting in some way and he had meaningful conversations with strangers all the time. He laughed easily. He just wanted to have fun all the time. He was so stubborn! See? now I'm mad at him again! Weird. He loved being a dad. He loved all the commotion. He had a strong work ethic and was a loyal employee. He had fish and a bird for pets when he was young.  He was never really a dog or cat person. He was a skateboarder and had a paper route when he was a little guy. He was a NASCAR fan and an avid Raiders fan! He had stunning blue eyes, which he passed down to one of his daughters and a grandson. He loved having a garden and growing peppers. He really liked spicy food. He liked to cook, from an early age. His favorite movies were comedies. He loved to go fishing and he liked camping out. He was game for anything. I loved that about him. He had SO many friends! He was lucky in that way.

Sigh. I'm sure going to miss him. 

 😥 9/28/1964 - 4/19/2023 💔