Eating

With all the eating going on during the holidays and this month, let's talk about a TRUE eater!!

Joey Chestnut. Seriously, how does this man do it??? He competes in 20+ events each year and holds 55 WORLD records!

* Nathan's hot dogs: 76 dogs and buns in 10 minutes

* Hard-boiled eggs: 141 in 8 minutes

* Glazed donuts: 55 in 8 minutes

* Pulled pork sandwiches: 45 in 10 minutes

* Taco Bell softshell beef tacos: 53 in 10 minutes

* Krystal hamburgers: 103 in 8 minutes

* Big Mac sandwiches: 32 in 38 minutes

* Tamales: 102 in 12 minutes

* Grilled cheese sandwiches: 47 in 10 minutes

* Ice cream sandwiches: 25.5 in 6 minutes

* Pepperoni rolls: 43 in 10 minutes

* Chicken wings: 182 in 30 minutes

* Shrimp Cocktail @ St. Elmo's: 18lb 90z in 8 minutes

* Twinkies: 121 in 6 minutes

He's a god. Also, he lives just north of my hometown! I didn't know that until today. He just turned 40. 6' 1'', 230lb. He should stop eating like that. I wonder what else he could do? He says the most unpleasant eating competition was ice cream...brain freeze was only secondary to the freezer burns on his hands and inside his mouth. Dang. 

fun stuff

This morning, the DJ on the oldies station I was listening to said, Paul McCartney was going to be 81 years old this month. Then he said, "where does all the time come from?!"  I loved that! Pretty great way to say it 😊

All the rest of this post is filled with the things that have made me laugh the last week or so.

I showed this picture to my fella and said, this is the thinnest and most fit I was in my whole life. (37 years ago) And he said, "god really blessed you" and I said, Uh huh. Then what happened?! and he said, "then YOU took over." Normally, that would have really pissed me off, but I laughed like crazy!!! Omg that was so funny!

This is one of my favorite young pictures of us. It was at my brothers wedding in Las Vegas, 1989.

Look at this cool horse I did!!! It's not really my design though. A woman asked me if I could make this, she sent me a picture, and I said yes. It's a little different than the original but she loved it. It was fun to do something so different.

A coworker bought this for me. I feel both ways about it. It's funny as hell but on the other hand, is it ok that people think I feel that way?!

On our front porch, a tiny little House Wren couple is building their nest in the little home we provided. We're loving their song all day and watching them stuffing stems and twigs in there.

THIS is hilarious!!!!

I love it when school is out and traffic is so much lighter but this is sooooo true about summer!

I feel this could be accurate!

 

This ad cracked me up because, well, honestly, I didn't know he was still alive. What is he, 90? Good grief dude. Just stay home! hahahahahahaha

And lastly, panda videos. I'm not kidding! Those chunky rascals crack me up! They're intentionally playful and it's the funniest thing to watch when you need a smile :-)

Hell

I keep seeing this headline..."A guy says he had a heart attack and went to hell. Here's what he saw."

I finally caved and read it. 👀 It turned out to be one of the best laughs I've had in weeks. Here is the link to the article;

A Guy Says He Had a Heart Attack and Went to Hell in 2016. Here's What He Saw. (msn.com)

Now, I don't want poo poo his experience, and it does sound pretty horrific. But here's the thing, the "guy" is a priest. Toward the end of the article the priest says his hellacious near death experience made him realize he needed to forgive people who had wronged him, instead of hoping for their punishment.

Ummm, seriously?! You're a freakin priest and you were hoping for people to be punished? Yeah, there's a reason you went to hell, dumbass.

comedy

Do you have a favorite comedian? I've seen some of the best, live. Robin Williams, Jay Leno, Cosby. I'd like to see Seinfeld's stand up act. I love the stand up routine of a guy named Brad Upton, but he really only has one routine. Back in "the day," I thought Gallagher was funny as hell! I like Ricky Gervais most of the time. I love the old clips of the Carol Burnett show with Tim Conway and Harvey Korman. 

I like serious comedy too. Like Dennis Miller and Bill Maher. This clip from Bill Maher's show, about actors, really made me cheer!

https://youtu.be/uDkNmbJLB3o

I keep trying to watch some of the more popular comedy movies...most of them though, I can't even get through 1/2 the movie before I roll my eyes and turn it off. I like to laugh, really I do!!

What the holy @#$!

 I swear, I don't go around taking pictures of girls butts. 

This was just too funny though. This woman was really pretty, petite and has a super cute figure. Butt when she turned around, it was really hard not to stare. And not in a good way. I felt so bad that nobody had the guts to tell her not to wear those! I hear it's a fashion trend. I hope it doesn't last. It did give me a great, big, hearty laugh though!! My fella said it looks like her butt is eating her shorts. I don't know what get's into people :-)

I am legend!

 Hahahahahahahahaha!!

No really. It's the funniest thing ever!

Friday is National Donut Day!

Seven (7) years ago, just for fun, I took the day off and went on a donut quest with my fella. He loves pastry. I thought it would be a fun adventure. We drove all around the city, all day, trying to eat donuts!

 https://indyscootergirl.blogspot.com/2015/06/quests-are-hard.html

I didn't know until a month or so ago, I am a legend at work because of this. People are still saying, did you know she took the day off on National Donut Day....? That is soooooo hilarious!!! Anyway, I found this out because the supervisors got to together and bought me donuts on Admin Day. Two dozen of them. One of the newbie supervisors said, "I didn't know you liked donuts so much!" and another told her all about my donut quest. I think donuts are ok but whenever it's my birthday or Admins Day, I always get donuts. Everyone thinks I love donuts because I went on a donut quest! I don't have the heart to tell them, I don't really like donuts that much. I really appreciate their thoughtfulness :-)

I always wanted to be known for something cool. I guess this is it!

What has YOUR state done?

One of the channels I subscribe to on YouTube is The World According to Briggs. Briggs is a funny guy. All he does is lists. Lists about states. Top ten states with the best weather. Top ten states that no one wants to move to. Top ten states with affordable housing. Top 10 reasons not to move to Wisconsin. He does city and small town stuff too. Some of it statistical and some of it based on opinion/surveys. But they're fun. Last week he did one called, Coolest Inventions From Each State. Ready?

Alabama - the electric hearing aid 
Alaska - ranch dressing

Arkansas - movies with sound in 1923

Arizona - the taser

California - the iPhone in 2007

Colorado - the cheeseburger

Connecticut - vulcanized rubber (and nylon)

Delaware - Kevlar

Florida - air conditioning (and Gatorade)

Georgia - the cotton gin

Hawaii - surfing

Idaho - the television

Illinois - the transistor

Indiana - the washing machine in 1874

Iowa - the 1st gas powered tractor

Kansas - helicopter

Kentucky - bourbon (and the song, happy birthday)

Louisiana - Jazz

Maine - the diving suit

Maryland - bottle caps

Massachusetts - Facebook

Michigan - the automobile assembly line

Minnesota - rollerblades

Mississippi - Pine sol cleaner

Missouri - the ice cream cone

Montana - the portable heart monitor

Nebraska - the ski lift

Nevada - blue jeans

New Hampshire - the Segway

New Jersey - the lightbulb

New Mexico - the atomic bomb

New York - toilet paper

North Carolina - the airplane

North Dakota - the Kodak camera

Ohio - the traffic light

Oklahoma - the parking meter

Oregon - Wiki pages

Pennsylvania - bubble gum

Rhode Island - automatic sprinkler system

South Carolina - the military submarine

South Dakota - the cyclotron

Tennessee - cotton candy

Texas - the electric typewriter 

Utah - airbags

Vermont - sandpaper

Virginia - chap stick

Washington - Windows operating system

West Virginia - steam boats

Wisconsin - the blender

Wyoming - the first National Park

..."be nice to each other"

Pandemic life...still

 Well, it's the backside of October and here we are...still...trying to decide how not to die from COVID-19. Now they want us to know that small gatherings indoor for Thanksgiving are a bad idea. That was right after telling everyone that Halloween should be canceled. Screw you guys..

How much more do you think people can suffer? I hate this year. 

But...there have been some really great memes. In case you need the laugh, here are some of my favorites;

 

Mobituaries

Have you heard of Mo Rocca?

He does a podcast called Mobituaries.

https://www.mobituaries.com/the-podcast/

He says, "My father got me interested in obituaries. He would always say the obits was his favorite section of the newspaper. And I think he loved them because he had a real sense of the romance of life - and I'm not being cute there. A good obit does feel like a movie trailer for an Oscar-winning biopic. The highs, the lows, the triumphs and the tragedies - there's a kind of sweep and a drama about them. But not everyone has gotten the send-off they deserve _ or really and send-off _ and of course, there are rarely obituaries for thing, for ideas, for places."

Anyway, they're kind of fun. 

free, free, free!

I have/had $200 free Amazon gift cards! I love Amazon. I love free Amazon gift cards. I was going to buy something responsible...that wouldn't end up at Goodwill or the Salvation Army. I was going to. I had every intention. But then I said, screw it! and bought something completely frivolous, useless and dumb. I almost felt bad. I got over it though. 

Because I love me some Funko Pop and Moana is my all time favorite Disney movie, I bought these;

   
   

Yes, yes I did. But, I didn't spend all my $$ :-)  Only 1/2. So I can use the rest on crazy kitchen gadgets!!! Oh yeah, like these totally cool lids!

or this completly awesome snap on strainer!!!

Or this amazing thing! I don't even know what I would do with it but I want it!!

Oh wait, I might already own this. OK, maybe this neat breakfast sandwich maker instead;


It's so fun!!!!

Friday funnies